simply liv

April 7 2013 I’m not happy. I’m not happy today and I don’t know why. I’m living in Japan. I’m in one of the most exciting and lively, bouncing and fantastic countries in the entire world….physically. Mentally and emotionally, I’m stuck right where I was a month ago; in the basement room of my house in Toronto. Jobless, lonely and stuck. Utterly and totally stuck in my own mind. Stuck thinking to myself all day. Stuck without interaction. Stuck without using my brain because I won’t.  I don’t find happiness here. It rains and I stay inside all weekend. From my hair to my skin to my stomach legs eyes nails…everything is churning and doesn’t feel like my own. What…is…happening? I AM BORED. But refuse to do anything about it. I cook because I have to eat, I eat because it’s a way to pass the time. I watch endless amounts of videos on my computer. Hours go by and then I realize…I’ve spent two straight days indoors without moving farther from my bed but to get a snack. Why do I thin...

Passion, passion, whose got the passion? Lately, I've thought pretty in depth-like at my life and what I am passionate about. Asking myself questions like "What do I want to do with my life?" and "How do I want to commit the short time I'm given on this planet" followed by "How can I add value to my life and the lives of others WHILE making enough green stuff to make a fun and enjoyable and love-filled life for myself and my family?" I think about this often as I linger in the strange place between graduation and career-life. I sit here today thinking about my future. Thinking about their words on the page of my e-mail inbox: " we've received your application to the 2014 fall intake for the Nursing program, thank for your application. At this time, we cannot offer you admission." Pretty much ending their e-mail with a "thanks for your cash Liv, sorry kiddo...but no can do." Brilliant. Well...in all honestly, I'd lost ...

Blog, blog, Bloggidy blog blog, blogger. Sitting on the floor in my chilly basement, leaning against a pair of old speakers and beginning to lose sensation in my left butt cheek, I'm thinking about my babies. I planted (ha!, you thought they were real human children beings?!) 3 tomato plants, a cucumber plant, an olive...tree? and some herbs. I've recently become totally obsessed with them and at times am known to share my breakfast in their company. Today, I needed to give them some serious though love and prune...like mad. I hadn't done this since I got them and was hesitant to do so....and am now contemplating if I should have. ODD to think that this is what occupies my mind space. Those poor little plants, slowly forming vegetation for me to consume. They work so hard...every damn day...to produce something beautiful and delicious and then, some weeks later, I just pick it off and eat it. Eating takes like...7 seconds! I actually really enjoy gardening. Its peacefu...