Well that's easy.

What do I want?
I have no idea.
I know what I think I once liked. But somehow its been hidden from me, stolen by something or someone. I've been robbed, stripped bare, left fully exposed, raw and trembling.
What I don't want...? Well that's easy.
I don't want to feel trapped every where i go.
I don't want to feel scared every minute im awake.
I don't want to have my life robbed of me.
I don't want to shutter and cringe all day waiting if something might come up that makes me uncomfortable. Waiting, waiting, preparing to keep myself safe.
I don't want to sweat, to shake, to tremble to quiver inside every minute at the possibility.
I don't want to imagine horrible things that will happen to me.
I don't want to feel off centre and tilting, shaking, swaying in the wind, unbalanced on my own two feet.
I don't want to think about the easiest way out, the safest route to my safety or to help, all the while ignoring the conversations happening in front of me.
I don't want to stop traveling or driving, or walking or spending time with friends because I'm scared or uncomfortable.
I don't want my life to be robbed. I don't want another second to be taken by this monster. I don't want this life.

What I want then is just the opposite.
I want to feel free
I want to feel adventurous
I want to feel safe and happy and in the moment.
I want to take risks, and not be scared.
To grab hold of opportunity and fuck the consequences.
I want to sit on the top ledge and stare into the world in all its glory, be in awe of the world and share it with others.
I want to feel alive and strong and well.
I want to drive myself to a new place and explore everything it has to offer me. I want to fly to all ends of our beautiful planet. I want to have a life RICH and FULL and wonderful.
I want this life!!
And I will have it.