How my brain works
I had to get out of the house. Maybe it was the chill vibes playlist on youtube, or maybe it was the fact that it was 11:30 on a Thursday and I was still in my pajamas, sitting in my multi-undone project apartment looking at my empty google calendar wishing for some excitement. Or maybe it's because my brain is working against me.
Whatever the trigger, it came on in a flash, as it always does; right away I felt something wrong, I felt something deep, something stirring and numbing in my brain, something has taken over. It starts in my head, moving unnoticed and gaining strength before it unleashes itself and takes over my entire consciousness and physical body. It's just an idea, it starts with an idea that plants itself in my head and then it grows into a dark overwhelming all consuming shadow that smothers me. The issue continues to remain - where did this shadow creature come from and how did it grow so big that I'm on the verge of tears from self-pity, feeling like I need to physically escape the cage of my mind and trying to keep my head up above waves of depression.
This episode's issue started with a girl and a boy. Somehow it creeps into my head space and takes over, filling my body with tightness and making my jaw muscles tight. My stomach flips and my chest is sinking lower and lower. Even though my brain screams LET IT GO, LIVE YOUR OWN LIFE, another part feels way too good sitting in the mud, covering myself with cold, wet, dirt, shivering and crying, to do anything to make it stop.
Whatever the trigger, it came on in a flash, as it always does; right away I felt something wrong, I felt something deep, something stirring and numbing in my brain, something has taken over. It starts in my head, moving unnoticed and gaining strength before it unleashes itself and takes over my entire consciousness and physical body. It's just an idea, it starts with an idea that plants itself in my head and then it grows into a dark overwhelming all consuming shadow that smothers me. The issue continues to remain - where did this shadow creature come from and how did it grow so big that I'm on the verge of tears from self-pity, feeling like I need to physically escape the cage of my mind and trying to keep my head up above waves of depression.
This episode's issue started with a girl and a boy. Somehow it creeps into my head space and takes over, filling my body with tightness and making my jaw muscles tight. My stomach flips and my chest is sinking lower and lower. Even though my brain screams LET IT GO, LIVE YOUR OWN LIFE, another part feels way too good sitting in the mud, covering myself with cold, wet, dirt, shivering and crying, to do anything to make it stop.
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